The Art of Keeping Secrets
by Laurus Nobilis
Summary: Clow has too many secrets to keep track of, and Cerberus reads him far too well.


**Disclaimer:** Card Captor Sakura belongs to CLAMP.

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**The Art of Keeping Secrets**

Cerberus forced his eyes to stay shut, trying hard to get some sleep, but it was in vain. Clow kept mumbling to himself and rolling around. The bed was large, sure, but when you were a lion curled up in a corner you were bound to notice the movement. Then again, it was his own fault for offering to stay. But Clow had looked oddly distant all day long, and that almost always meant nightmares...

A stronger movement startled him when his master sat up.

"What? What is it?" Cerberus exclaimed. Clow just stared at him for a moment, as if he wasn't completely aware of his surroundings just yet. Then his expression softened and he petted the Guardian's head.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice still somewhat hoarse. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Wasn't even asleep," he muttered. Clow gave him a sympathethic look.

"You know," he said, "you don't _have_ to do this if you don't want to."

"Well, if you put it like that," Cerberus snorted. "Honestly, sometimes you treat me as if I was just a big stuffed toy. _And I don't like that smile_!"

"Oh, but why do you think I made you so comfortable?"

"C'mon, Clow. A man your age. Where's your dignity?"

"I'm afraid it's not awake yet," he replied, smoothing the blankets on the spot right beside him.

The Guardian rolled his eyes at him, but leaned closer anyway. Clow did need a little comforting, even if he'd never say so, and Cerberus himself could do with some petting. His master's long fingers ran gently across his wings, ruffling his feathers a little. The gesture was soothing for both of them. Cerberus rested his head on Clow's lap, relaxed. He could have fallen asleep in no time if he hadn't been too busy wondering what had just happened.

"So," he said, "what was it this time?"

"The usual," Clow replied. "Bits of the future. People I should help. Relatives threatening the balance of the universe."

Although his voice was calm, the deep sigh that followed his words gave him away. Cerberus knew that Clow never outright lied – apparently that involved a lot of mystical consequences about karma and creating ripples and whatnot. On the other hand, this meant that he had developed a great ability to hide parts of the truth or to make it sound exactly the way he wanted. Perhaps his visions had been the same as always, but his worry about them was far from 'the usual'.

There was something else. And Cerberus was sure that he wouldn't have to wait too long to hear it. Clow could never stay silent for much time.

"There are so many things I need to do, Cerberus," he said after a few moments, just as expected. "So many things, and I don't even know where to start."

"But you _are_ working on it, aren't you?" the Guardian asked, confused. "You said that's why we came to Japan, because you had to do stuff. Isn't that why you're seeing that witch all the time?"

"It is," Clow said, "and we are taking care of it, already. It's just... it's _so much_."

"You mean too many different things?" he asked. "Or too complicated?"

"Both, I think. There are so many details I must take care of," his master sighed. "Sometimes I worry that I won't have the time to do everything I need to do."

"Wait a minute," Cerberus intervened, frowning. He turned around so he could face Clow and give him the stern look he deserved. "What do you mean, you won't have time? You told us all these things won't happen in _decades_. You've got all the time you want."

He had expected a reaction, of course. He had expected him to backtrack, or try to change the subject, or laugh it off saying something cryptic. But not what happened next. Clow _paled_. This time he was truly, honestly caught off-guard. It was strange to see him like that; almost frightening.

"I've said too much, haven't I?" he whispered, and his voice was shaking a little. Cerberus suddenly felt as if he could read his master's mind.

"Oh, no," he warned him. "Don't you _dare_ – "

Clow didn't give him time to finish.

"Forgive me," he said, and kissed the red jewel on his forehead.

Cerberus blinked, startled. He felt a little drowsy, as if he'd just woken up. It was difficult to remember what had just happened... perhaps he _had _fallen asleep, after all. Had he been dreaming? No, he remembered, Clow had. Of course. Now he noticed the soft hand scratching the fur behind his ears. He purred, content, and looked up.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "Did you have bad dreams again?"

"Nothing you should worry about," his master told him, with an obvious effort to smile. Then he added, "I'm sorry."

"Oh, c'mon," he muttered, confused by that guilty look. "You only woke me up. It's not life-threatening or anything."

But Clow leaned down to embrace him, and buried his face on the lion's strong shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

Cerberus wrapped one of his wings around him and didn't try to argue.


End file.
